Embracing Change: Letting Go of Your Past Life as a Single Parent

Becoming a single parent often brings a seismic shift that touches nearly every aspect of life. While many focus on the practicalities—like legal matters, co-parenting logistics, or supporting children through the transition—it’s crucial to acknowledge the emotional impact. For many, single parenthood means saying goodbye to a whole life that was once envisioned.

This shift is not just about leaving behind a partner; it also involves grieving the future you had mapped out. Whether it was plans for additional children, a bigger home, family holidays, or dreams of retiring abroad, the end of a relationship forces a confrontation with lost possibilities. It can be challenging to picture a new future when you’re still processing the path that has changed so dramatically.

Recognising the Challenge

Single parents face numerous challenges as they navigate their new realities. Common feelings may include loss, frustration, and confusion as they grapple with the dreams that are no longer achievable. Many may feel pressure to quickly adapt and move on, but it’s essential to allow yourself the space to grieve the life you had envisioned.

Strategies for Moving Forward

1. Identify Goals from the Past

Begin by reflecting on the goals and dreams you may still be clinging to from your previous relationship. Consider both spoken and unspoken plans you envisioned together. Look for triggers of jealousy or envy, which can indicate areas where you may be holding onto old aspirations.

Evaluate aspects of your life that are causing stress or stagnation; these may be linked to unfulfilled plans. This exploration requires honesty, acknowledging that letting go of certain dreams can feel like a personal failure. However, remember that evolving doesn’t mean giving up—it means adapting to your current reality and making room for new possibilities.

2. Grieve and Let Go

It’s completely normal to feel a sense of loss when reflecting on shared goals. Accepting that some plans may no longer be feasible can be a painful process. Allow yourself to experience these emotions instead of pushing them away; this is an integral part of releasing old aspirations.

Consider these exercises to facilitate your grieving process:

• Write a Letter: Acknowledge your past dreams in a letter to your former self, gently saying goodbye to them.

• Visualisation: Close your eyes and picture placing your old plans in a box, setting it down, and walking towards something new.

• Create a Ritual: Light a candle and reflect on what you are releasing.

Taking time to grieve allows you to focus on what you want moving forward.

3. Look Towards the Future

Once you’ve given yourself permission to grieve, shift your focus to envisioning your future. Ask yourself, "If I were designing my future based on who I am today, what would it look like?" This process encourages you to let go of old frameworks and allows for exploration of new possibilities.

Consider what excites you and brings joy—both as a parent and an individual. Imagine the experiences you want to have and the person you aspire to become. This exploration doesn’t need immediate answers; it’s about recognising that new possibilities exist.

Letting go of a life you once planned can be one of the hardest aspects of becoming a single parent. By reflecting on and grieving your past, you can begin to move forward and create new plans that align with your current self.

What are you still holding onto from your past relationship that no longer fits your life today? What small action can you take right now to start letting go and redirecting your energy toward the future you want to build?

Working with a 1-to-1 coach can be a great first step toward the future you're dreaming of for yourself and your children.

Read next: How to trust yourself as a single parent

Work With Me

I help single parents, co-parents and solo parents who are struggling with prioritising themselves to find balance in their lives and build a life they love for them and their children. If you’d like to find out more, book your free, no-obligation consultation call.